SHADOWS AND SUNSHINE

Being in a large city for Holy Week has been a rich experience. St. Agnes church (near Grand Central Station) where I stop in sometimes for daily Mass has a number of more traditional practices; the statues were covered with purple drapes this week. On Wednesday we attended a "Tenebrae" (from a Latin word meaning "darkness" or "shadow") service at our Franciscan parish church here on 96th Street. I had never attended one, but it was a moving service of prayer and meditation with music...they have wonderful music here, with talented organists and soloists worthy of the Met...and lectors who are in theater.

One of the characteristic features of the Tenebrae service is the gradual extinguishing of candles and dimming of the lights, until only a single candle (considered a symbol of Christ) remains. Near the end of the service, the candle is carried out of the church with great solemnity, and all is dark while we reflect on the mystery of Christ's death and the apparent victory of darkness and evil in our lives. Then a huge noise (the "strepitus"), done with organ and other assorted noise makers, symbolizes the earthquake / resurrection--and the Christ candle is brought back into church.

Holy Thursday was remarkable for the seamless use of English, Spanish, and French in most parts of the Mass, and for the lovely foot-washing ritual that was completely integrated into the reading of the Gospel. Liturgical drama at its finest. On Good Friday I went downtown to another Fransciscan church for a celebration of the Seven Last Words at noon, then returned home for the Good Friday service at 3.

Holy Saturday evening in our parish church was also memorable. Instead of reading all the long readings, they did a "collage" of all the readings, again using the three parish languages. All the Old Testament readings were done in the dark, and the lights came on when we got to the New Testament. About eight adults were baptized, standing in a depressed basin next to the fount, and they were BAPTIZED, with the water poured over them. They went to the sacristy to change to long white garments, and came out to stand in front of us to be confirmed. It was very moving; many tears of joy both from them and from us. The children are baptized at the Masses on Easter Sunday...which was also glorious.

May the hope and joy of the Risen Jesus be with you all!

THE NEW LEPROSY

Well, we finally made it: Friday we spoke on the floor of the General Assembly hall of the United Nations--that's Sister Jan on the left and me on the right. (We were talking to each other, so we could say "we spoke on the floor of the UN!"--Jan was telling me to stand where I would look short, while she stood where she would look tall). The occasion was a civil society hearing on the world HIV / AIDS problem. A "civil society hearing" gives the delegates from member states and governments an opportunity to hear input from people "on the ground" as well as from NGOs working in an area.

HIV remains the only global public health issue to be the subject of a UN Security Council resolution, and has elevated global health issues to a new prominence on foreign policy agendas around the world. Some of the achievements of this effort have been the institution of UNAIDS, as well as a global fund to fight AIDS, and PEPFAR, the largest bilateral global health initiative in U.S. history. Sometimes I'm embarrassed by lack of U.S. response in some areas of concern, but I'm proud of the U.S. leadership and contributions to the global fight against AIDS, with its implications for global human rights, women's issues, health, and minorities. While the spread of AIDS has been slowed in most countries, and the number of deaths decreased, the number of infections is still rising (2.5 million new cases every year). In many countries the majority of poor people with HIV still do not have access to treatment. The testimonies from people on the panels and from the floor were just heartbreaking stories of suffering, discrimination, and stigmatization...like a new leprosy.

The day before, we went to the UNICEF building for a working session on children with HIV / AIDS. The group of NGOs and other interested parties are getting ready for a high level meeting (that means that heads of state will be there) in June, working on their "message development." Some of the areas of greatest concern seem to be issues like children who can't get tested because their parents are ashamed that there is HIV in the family; and adolescents who come out of excellent pediatric treatment programs, only to fall prey to reinfection because of lack of adequate sex / HIV education programs. It will be important to watch what is going on in Washington right now--will we balance the budget on the backs of the poor?

The work of waiting

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord." Psalm 27: 14 When I find myself waiting for answers or waiting for God to respond, it would be advisable to view this work of waiting as necessary preparation to receive the answer. It is not always easy to wait as I strain against my natural instincts to know now. Nevertheless, at times to wait is all that God asks of me. In God's wisdom I do believe this is an opportunity for me to grow in faith and learn to respond with trust and hope in God's faithfulness rather than on my own need for gratification. God as I wait help me to discover the value and gift discovered only through waiting.

Settle my heart

This week I have been speaking with two different women who are searching for answers. One comment was, " I really want to be in two different places. Both places are equally attractive. How do I know what God is asking of me?" Haven't we all had that same question arise in our lives once, twice, perhaps numerous times. I found myself smiling and responded. " I think it might be helpful to continue to ask that question of God while at prayer." Isn't it true that when we are able to place our questions, our desires, even our life in the hand of God, we can be at peace. I know I can rest in the knowledge that God's intention for me is always good. However, I must remember and acknowledge that special gift that makes us unique as God's creation--free choice! God, settle my heart and assure me that I can rest in the hope that one day my questions will be answered.I choose again this day to surrender to your plan for me. Enlighten and guide the searching of the women who are seeking you and your plan in their lives.

OLD FRIENDS, NEW FRIENDS

Many of you will recognize these old friends: that's Sisters Clara, Michele, and CJ in front of Macy's, near Herald Square ("Tell all the gang at 42nd Street that we will soon be there...") CJ and Clara were on their way to the Holy Land, with a couple of days off in NYC for good behavior. We got together on Sunday for Mass at St. Patricks Cathedral and brunch in the food court of Grand Central Station. Such a warm fuzzy, to see some Kentucky Ursulines on the sidewalks of New York!

And today (April 5) I met one more "old" friend and one new one. We NGOs have a special meeting once a month of all the Religious at the UN (RUN), for support and mutual inspiration. There are usually about 30 of us there, all from different religious communities of men and women. When we introduced ourselves I saw a ripple of interest down the table when I introduced myself as Ursuline--to find that the interested parties later introduced themselves as Ursulines. We met for lunch in the UNICEF cafeteria later to compare notes. The "old" friend was Sister Jane Quinlan, known to several sisters in our community from Ursuline leadership gatherings, and the new friend was Soeur Deodata Bunzigiye from Goma, the DRCongo. Both are Tildonk Ursulines (with motherhouse in Belgium). Daodata works in the education of street children, refugees, and child soldiers, as well as with trafficked women; she was invited by the UN to come and present information to several groups. Jane is still teaching part-time here in this area, but also represents their community as a UN NGO. I didn't know there was an Ursuline presence here at the UN, or I would have connected before now.

And on a personal note, this coming Sunday I'm connecting with Sharon, one of just two cousins on my father's side of the family. She lives in New Jersey, and this will be only the third time we have met as adults. The other time I remember seeing her was when we were 10 years old, when my mother and I came by train from New Mexico to NYC for Christmas. BIG Christmas: I met my grandma and grandpa, and we kids all got bicycles.

All this goes to show that you always have to behave, because you never know when you're going to run into someone you know. "Make new friends, but keep the old: one is silver and the other's gold."

WOMEN ARE BUFFALO

So much happens all at once at the UN, it's impossible to keep up, let alone tell you all about things as they occur. So, periodically I will "unpack" something from an earlier time. During the two-week Commission on the Status of Women, I was struck by the title of a side event, and went just to see what it was about. "Men Are Human, Women Are Buffalo" was the title of a short documentary film on abused and / or trafficked women in Thailand. The name came from an actual law (now defunct) describing the legal status of people there...men having the status of human beings, and women considered property, to be bought and sold like water buffalo.

We know the law can change (this one did) but unconscious societal attitudes and customs change slowly. Think how long it is taking in our country for us not to classify someone with a different skin color as inferior. And if women were indeed only property, then domestic abuse, trafficking, and using rape as a weapon of war might make "sense." We may not have called them "buffalo," but as originally written, our own U.S. Constitution did not recognize women and slaves as "persons" with a full set of rights.

In almost every U.N. discussion on the eradication of poverty, one of the delegates says "The best way to alleviate poverty is to educate women" or at least improve their status. In some countries, women farmers grow 70% of the food, yet they cannot own land or buy seeds (all that has to be done in the name of the husband). Laws that would let a woman own her own land, or even take classes in farming, would work toward easing food shortages in some parts of Africa. Even delegates from countries that don't practice this are (on the floor of the U.N.) paying lip service to the idea, even if only because they are succumbing to peer pressure! And if they say it often enough--maybe they will start believing it.

As I examine my own unconscious attitudes about people who are "different," maybe if I could be honest enough to see I am calling them "buffalo," then I would have taken the first step toward healing my little part of the world.

SSSSNAKE AND THE CITY

Another charming thing about New York City is how much fun New Yorkers can have over the strangest things. The week-long absence of an adolescent (20 inches, 3 ounces) Egyptian Cobra from its cage in the Bronx Zoo occasioned more merriment than terror. A twitter account was set up in the snake's name, and it reported back from the Art Museum (10 a.m.), the Empire State Building (3 p.m.), Ray's Pizza (5 p.m.) and Wall Street (8 p.m.). It was tweeted by the Mayor, and Ellen Degeneres welcomed it to NYC, but told it to stay away from Times Square "which" she said, "is a zoo!" Finally it was found in a dark corner of the reptile house, not 100 feet from its cage. Our heroine is now going from back-room obscurity to Special Attraction, and a naming contest is going on. I'm going to submit "Slyther Lynn" and "Cleo" (one of her famous ancestors killed Cleopatra).

Often-seen subway rats are another cause for dark humor, and of course, rampant speculation. The subway news has it that there is going to be a massive population explosion this summer, which might be true, as 75% of the city exterminators were laid off. I took Jan's picture in front of a giant (20 foot?) rat on Wall Street -- not what you are thinking -- someone told me that unions put it in front of non-union businesses. Well, I guess that could apply to Wall Street, too.

Bedbugs are also back in the news; landlords are going to be required to spray ALL the apartments near an infested unit: up, down, right, and left. People are being careful about where they buy their clothes and "fleamarkets" are less popular right now. But New Yorkers seem to take a perverse pride in their wildlife, except for pigeons. It's the non-wild life I worry about. How can those BIG dogs live in such tiny apartments?

I was really mystified about what picture to choose for this; finally decided that the terror factor of an Egyptian Cobra was outweighed by the gross-you-out vision of a highly-magnified bedbug, or up-close Rattus rattus rattus. (At last: I knew someday I would get to use the official name of that rat!) Sweet dreams, everyone.