ONE IN MISSION

Getting my "missioning" letter from the motherhouse meant even more to me than usual this time. I have read it every day and hope to make a habit of that, to keep fresh in my mind what I am doing here in The City, far from the green fields of Kentucky.

"As community we are one in mission and ministry; the power of the entire community united in the Lord is present in the ministry of each member...together we stand with Jesus before (God) saying, "Here I am, Lord, send me." (from our Ursuline Way of Life)

I have felt so connected to community since coming here, in an even more powerful way, as my sisters and our associates reached out to me with a Christmas card "shower" and with many prayers and good wishes for this new ministry at the United Nations. In turn, I feel the real responsibility of representing them here, of being their face in this new work.

In the words of the missioning letter, I pledge to them to "witness to the joy and the challenge of the Gospel through (my) life of prayer, service, empowerment, justice, and contemplative presence, in the spirit of Angela Merici." And they must keep their promise to me of supportive prayer!

Ponder the face of God

The good news of Christmas is that God has become one of us in a little innocent baby.  Everyone delights in the face of a baby.   I am the proud great aunt of an great nephew, Robert Scott, who was born on December 5.  His innocent, tiny features captured my attention and I was momentarily caught up in the miracle of life once again.  The many years of awaiting a child in my niece's life awakened me to the treasure and miracle of giving birth to one's own son.   As I witness the mother and father gaze so lovingly and proudly upon the miracle of their love for each other, I find myself pondering also the miracle of the face of God in the Christ Child. 

The revelation of God comes to us in the face of an infant child.  The simple yet powerful source of peace, purity, and goodness.  This  awareness is also a recognition that in our human quest for God, God looks upon us with love.  In the face of God, in the look of God, being seen by God, we truly come to know peace.  On the upcoming celebration of Mary, Mother of God, how divine the vision of Mary holding the divine child in her arms.  May each of us always treasure the look of God in the face of those who love us and whom we love.  This is truly a mirror of God manifesting love and peace to our soul.  May you be graced as you ponder the birth of God into our world. Savor and ponder the face of God in numerous and sacred moments of this Christmas season.

Let your life witness

“For it will not be you who speak but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.”

Today our diocese celebrates our patron saint,  Saint Stephen, deacon and martyr. Saint Stephen pray for us and intercede blessings upon our local church and the restoration and renewal of our Cathedral church building...

What does it mean to be a martyr? Does it mean to be like Saint Stephen, willing to give my very life for what I believe?  That is definitely one way, but not necessarily the only way.  The root of martyr is “witness,” and there are many ways I am called to witness. These can be familiar but they are no less courageous than the path Stephen took. Being a good friend, a loving sister or brother, honest in  ministry and work, compassionate—these are powerful forms of drawing others to the message of the Gospel and being Christ bearers attesting to the Good News. How will you testify to the gospel with your life today? On this second day of Christmas let us pray for a spirit of courage for that witness not only in words but with our lives.

For Unto Us a Child is Born

Jesus is born for us this day. What has really changed with his birth?  Is there peace?  Is there light? Have  I opened my heart to receive the marvels that God has in store for me?  I marvel at the sheperds who went in haste to look for the child, and having found him, they go out and announce it to everyone they meet.  They are examples for me of how to respond to the message of this day.  The new world that this child brings, the unity that his birth promises, is already unfolding in our midst.  Many people go out of their way to care for the needy, not only at this special time of the year, but throughout the entire year.  Many collect cans, clothing, distribute food, and volunteer their time and energy, helping to rebuild lives that have been devastated by natural diaster, social conditions, or war.  If I cannot see this new unity, perhaps it is because I am not doing anything to bring it about. 

I want to remember that Christmas is a time of promise, as is the birth of every child.  Today we celebrate the child born as our Savior, the Word of God, the Wonder-Counselor, God-Hero, Prince of Peace.  Jesus brings much unity, peace, healing, and hope into our world.  Jesus, you bring much peace, hope, healing and joy into my life.

What new life might you bring into our world?  May you take time to pause and reflect on the mystery of God's incomprehensible love in your life this Christmas.

Peace is within our reach

“The dawn from on high shall break upon us, . . . to guide our feet into the way of peace.”

The promise of peace is surely the greatest of all God’s gifts. For us as humans who get all caught up in fears and and competition year in and year out, the idea that there is a path toward peace is good news indeed. This solemnity of the Incarnation recalls that we believe Jesus was sent to us by God for the specific purpose of showing us the way of peace. Jesus is not only the Prince of Peace, Jesus is peace itself. Embrace Jesus and you embrace peace. Then, as promised, you will be filled with a sense of wholeness, harmony, healing, and hope. Let's proclaim with the angels, Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace to all! Alleluia! For today is born for us, Jesus, Our Savior, Prince of Peace!  Alleuia!

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

When I was trying to cheer the Belleville Ursulines as they worked through the hard decisions that involved leaving their home and merging with our community, I commented that "Our home is in the heart of God." Certainly not that original, but it struck a chord with Sister Frances, and she continued to use it on ME now and then.

Now that she is indeed Home, in the heart of God, I guess she's still using it on me, because I feel its consolation as I begin to feel at home in The City. I was particularly moved last Sunday as I slipped into the familiar ritual of the Mass--as always pleasantly surprised at how our shared faith and liturgical celebrations make us "at home" wherever we go in the world. And how the common sisterhood we share with all women religious can make us at home almost anywhere we find ourselves.

So to all my dear friends who are worried about me being "away from home" at Christmas--I'm safe at home in this house, behind this door marked "204," with the Franciscan Missionaries of Mary, who adopted me last spring and have adopted me again! Come Monday, I will begin again to make my home in the heart of God on East 19th Street--a new adventure!

A blessed Christmas to all who believe that God chose to make a home with us, and a New Year full of conviction that "all will be well, and all manner of things will be well!"

STUFF

Packing to leave home this time was (as it always is) a real lesson in priorities. I really went wild this time, getting rid of so much stuff that a sister I live with scolded me saying, "Michele, you're moving, not dying!" The winnowing out was an exhausting process, because each little thing I picked up was a decision point, shaving off a little bit of my earlier choices and personal history.

But it was a very free-ing process-- I even shredded my journals dating back to 1985 (sorry, if you were planning to use them to advance my cause for beatification!) and there was a real sense of starting over, of beginning a new chapter, of turning my face toward the future instead of looking back over my shoulder at the past. It must be how a tree feels after shedding this season's leaves.

I think as a matter of self-preservation I will be working even harder to practice the sacrament of the Present Moment: just do THIS thing now and focus on it, rather than trying to anticipate all the problems I will have all week (my strategy of the past.) Maybe with practice I will manage to get a C+ in "present momenting" before I die! It's a worthy goal, anyway.

May every moment of the rest of Advent help lead us to that moment that shall be timeless,,,

Be thou my Vision...

There is reference in today's Scripture for Mass which stirs hope... " I will leave as a remnant in your midst a people humble and lowly, who shall take refuge in the name of the Lord..."  What is the purpose of this remnant and is there evidence of a remnant in our lives today?  I think it is pretty clear what God is doing. God is recreating us, gathering the faithful remnant and transforming us, purifying us and inviting us into a place of refuge.  There is hope for the remnant, for the community, a promise of hope and peace that will come "on that day."  

I am encouraged today " to take refuge in the name of  God while waiting "for that day."  
Give me new sight and perfect vision.  Relying on your goodness, O God, I humbly ask through the intercession of your servant, Saint Lucy, to give perfect vision to our eyes, that we might serve for your greater honor and glory. 

These are the words of Juan Diego,  whose feastday we recall today. "I am a nobody. I am a small rope, a tiny ladder, the tail end, a leaf..."  Juan's words provide for me much to aspire toward in my faith. Juan is a wonderful mentor for my life in the virtue of humility.  His faith response to our Lady, the Virgin Mary's request, " I vividly desire that a church be built on this site, so that in it I can be present and give my love, compassion, help, and defense, for I am your most devoted mother . . . I hear your laments and desire to come to your aid to remedy all your miseries, pains, and sufferings.”  In his simple faith, he acted. A willing and humbly servant, Juan Diego was a vessel. A church was built on the site where our Lady appeared and thousands converted to Christianity.

How I long for the humility and deep faith that I recognize in Juan Diego.  His response mirrors the Lady's own YES. Young, humble, faith-filled, willing to embrace a call whose source was truly divine.  The response of both has ignited a deeper faith in many through the years.  The enthusiasm of this feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe is so appropriate during this Gaudette-Rejoice week of Advent.  I seek to be a more humble, joyous, and willing vessel of welcome to all.   Juan Diego intercede for me this day.

ANOTHER LEAP

I've been involved in a major discernment lately, and it finally came to a head when I accepted a new job--far, far away from familiar people and scenery and activities. I knew someone was knocking on my door when sleepless nights became the norm rather than the exception. This mysterious nightly visitor would not leave me alone until I sent in my resume to the search committee for the position of Coalition Coordinator of UNANIMA International. After that I started to sleep again, at least until I was invited to New York City for an interview!


But this whole process has reminded me how much we rely on the voices of others to tune into God's voice...after members of my own religious community, members of the UNANIMA board, and heads of other United Nations NGOs started asking me, "Are you going to apply for that position, Michele?" I started wondering if maybe Someone were trying to tell me something. Suddenly I realized that my reasons for NOT applying for the job to that point were the noble motives of fear and laziness. Not a great way to live your life...


Looking back on most major decisions in my life, I realize that I finally "took the leap" only after I heard others put the idea into words--whether it was entering religious life, moving from teaching to administration, or into community leadership. How carefully we should listen for the call of God through others!

Now is the time

TODAY’S READINGS: “Be watchful! Be alert! You do not know when the time will come.”

In an Advent pastoral letter to his diocese, the 15th-century bishop of Milan and later Saint Charles Borromeo wrote: “Beloved, now is the acceptable time spoken of by the Spirit . . . . This is the time eagerly awaited by the patriarchs and prophets.” Note the saint is using the present tense: “Now is”; “this is.” Advent has a way of reaching into the past and making Christ’s coming a living reality in the present. It also, however, looks ahead. In a time of preparing to celebrate Christ’s first Advent we ready ourselves for his second—as Borromeo said in his letter: “The church asks us to understand that Christ, who came once in the flesh, is prepared to come again. When we remove all obstacles to his presence he will come, at any hour and moment, to dwell spiritually in our hearts.”

I share this with you from a resource I read this morning.   Not sure who composed it but it brought to mind why I love this liturgical season of Advent so much. It is my favorite liturgical season.  I just got back from celebrating the liturgy in my parish, and our pastor talked about the "waiting room" of Advent.  I loved the image and will carry it forward throughout these next four weeks of waiting, trying to stay watchful, alert and vigilant. Waiting is never easy, and sometimes, it is in the midst of waiting that Christ becomes vividly present.  I pray for all those who are waiting, that all our hearts might be blessed with unspeakable joy!  I extend the challenge that I heard this morning at Mass,  go forth and be the presence of Christ throughout these Advent days! I will be looking for you!  Now is the time!

Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge into the light." ~Helen Keller

It is that time of year to pause and recall the many ways that God has showered me with blessings.  I have on top of my list the gift of faith, that sustains me through some very empty times and inspires me to hang on with hope. Faith is an anchor which I cling to when I am surrounded by people with great needs.  The numerous people who ask for prayer reminds me that I am not alone in acknowledging the One who heals, directs, consoles, and loves us.  Today, I am grateful for my faith.  In faith, I ask you Creator God to heal and comfort all those in need who may be struggling in any way, especially in our shattered homes, families, country and world.  Through the gift of faith, may we discover your presense, direction and peace.  Allow us, God of Light, to see you through the eyes of faith.

NCYC is here!

Today I am in Indianapolis along with many youth and young adults who have gathered for the National Catholic Youth Conference.  I wish  every young person could have this experience. I am grateful that parishes and youth ministers take the time to gather with their youth to experience this so that they can unpack it gradually.  There is a contagious joy in gathering with others who are excited and know how to enjoy each other and their Catholic faith.  I hope and pray that each participant receive a special blessings and bless others whom they meet.  Christ is counting on you!

MORE ON PFP

There's a lot to think about with Angela's "terrific threesome" of Prayer, Fasting, and Pilgrimage...this time I was thinking about how PERSONAL they all are:

Even imprisonment and death can't prevent the movement of the individual soul to God in prayer. In fasting, I deny food to this body I live in (can you think of anything more personal than food that actually becomes you?) I remember Sister Cheryl Clemons telling us that in Angela's day, all some women had real control over in their lives was what they ate. And as for pilgrimage--well, you certainly can't hire somebody else to take a pilgrimage for you. You have to do the walking and put up with the blisters and mosquitos and hard beds yourself--otherwise it is not a pilgrimage!

All three must be experienced at a deeply personal level, which was where Angela was in her relationship with God--and where her daughters and sons aspire to be!

For all the blessings known and unknown, we give thanks...

This time of year our thoughts turn to blessings.  There is an old prayer I recall, "For all the blessings, known and unknown, remembered and forgotten, we give thee thanks." 

Every day I am showered with blessings, some I recognize, others remain hidden or unspoken. Some blessings I hold on to forever and some I just forget, nevertheless,I am very blessed.  When someone asks me "How are you?"  I need to say,  I AM BLESSED!

It really is the unforgotten blessings and the more than half-forgotten ones that I do well to look back, savor and remember.  They are part of my life experience and they have created  a sacred journey.  Take time to recall how you are blessed and know that we are united in gratitude today!

Frederick Buechner says, " Life itself can be thought of as an alphabet by which God graciously makes known God's  presence, purpose and power among us.  Like the Hebrew alphabet has no vowels, and in that sense the words are always veiled, subtle, cryptic so that it is lef to us to delve their meaning, to fill in the vowels, for ourselves by means of all the faith and imagination we can muster."

I think this is a good analogy.  God speaks to us in such a way, not because God chooses to be obscure but because the meaning of an incarnate word is the meaning it has for the one it is spoken to, the meaning that becomes clear and effective in our lives only when we discover it for ourselves.

It seems it takes hard word to hear the incarnate word, but the discovery of God's voice, presence and and power is worth every ounce of energy and time!

When God speaks it is usually into our personal lives.  Someone we love is diagnosed with cancer. Some unforeseen act of kindness touches the heart.  An act of insensitivity makes the blood run cold.  We fail a friend, or a friend fails us, and we are appalled at the capacity we have for estranging the very people in our lives we need the most.  Or maybe nothing extraordinary happens--just one day following another.  We sleep, we dream, we wake, we work. We remember and we forget.  God is there, speaking to us.

To attempt to express in even the most insightful and theologically sophisticated terms the meaning of what God speaks throught the events of our lives is as precarious as to try to express the meaning of the sound of snow falling, or leaves changing colors or the spectacle of the setting sun. But I choose to believe that God speaks nonetheless, and the reason that God's words are impossible to capture in human language is they are ultimately always incarnate words.  They are words fleshed out in the everydayness no less than in the crises of our lived experience. 

Listen to your life, all moments are key moments.

I am discovering that if you really keep your eyes open and your ears open, if you really pay attention to life, even such a limited and limiting life as the one I am living, you will be opened up onto extraordinary vistas.

Eating supper with a friend, a supper prepared by their own hands.  Trying to accomplish a simple day's task.  Hearing the rain patter against the window.  Watching the maple leaves fall.  Comforting one who is burying her mother at age 92.  Driving a good friend for radiation treatment.  Enjoying a serious conversation about the future of the Ursuline Sisters of Mount Saint Joseph.  There is no event so commonplace but that God is present within it, always hiddenly, always leaving you room to recognize or not to recognize God's presence.  If I were called upon to state in a few words the essence of everything, it would be something like this.  LISTEN TO YOUR LIFE.  See if for the fathomless mystery that it is.  In the boredom and pain of it, no less than in the excitement and gladness, touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it, because in the last analysis ALL MOMENTS ARE KEY MOMENTS, and all life is precious, all life is gift.

ANGELA'S TOOLCHEST

I recently attended an Ursuline gathering at which the speaker spoke of three of St. Angela Merici's primary spiritual "tools:" prayer, fasting, and pilgrimage. I was intrigued with the idea that those three tools actually represent three means of connection--connection to my own true self, to God, and to others.

• Fasting gets the soul and body in conversation with one another, connecting me to my true self, and helps me see the divine in myself.



• Praying puts ME in my place, and in direct contact with God.



• Pilgrimage takes me out of myself, takes me out of my comfort zone, to a place where the Other is at home, and helps me see the divine in others.

Now, I am not one to seek suffering, but meditating on these spiritual tools, I see where they could work for me...perhaps I can use the discipline of Weight Watchers for a holy purpose!

RIGHT CLICKING

When I finally learned to right click, it opened up the door to a whole new world of things I could do on my computer. (For those who are even less computer-literate than I was--if there are any people like that--that refers to clicking on the RIGHT button of the mouse, instead of the usual left button.)

But it's always like that when we step out of our comfort zone: first a period of confusion and darkness, then you can suddenly see lots of things you couldn't see before. I can think of a lot of Right Click Moments in my life. The decision to join religious life was a right click, and oh! the doors that has opened for me. The Enneagram was a right click--that sent my self-knowledge into overdrive. the United Nations experience opened up The World.

We should really be grateful for Right Click Moments, even when they are painful or negative...easier said than done, right?

GROWING UP

I've grown up several times.

Thomas Merton said we grow up only when we discover we are not the center of the universe, that the world is bigger than we are--and that's happened to me several times.

Well, let's see, the first time I "grew up" must have been in that developmental stage of early childhood, when I discovered that other people's needs mattered and needed to be taken into consideration. That might happen later for an only child!

Then there was the stage in my teen years when I discovered that there was a transcendant character to the world, that God really was, and really was FOR ME.

Then there was graduate school when I matured intellectually, and learned to reconcile what I knew about the universe with what I felt about the transcendent. And most recently, my experience at the United Nations showed me how big and how small the world really is.

But Merton went on to say that when we grow up is when we really find God, when we move beyond ourselves. And I think we will not completely do that until the moment of death, when we give up everything into God's embrace. We have lots of "growing up" to look forward to!!!!

My God who beckons...

There are some days when God awakes you in the early hours of dawn. Today was one of those blessed mornings and it just seemed so appropriate today to greet you, My God who beckons with song. 

  As morning breaks, I look to you O God, to be my strength this day, Alleluia!

God's call is constant. It is heard in the silence, in the crisp morning air, in the memory of a loved one that is with God.  Today, I ask for an awareness to recognize the glimpses of God. May these God moments alert me to God's voice calling me to a deeper realization of MYSTERY and PRESENCE. 

  We lose sight of God's love, awaken us once more to the truth of your love.

Yesterday I attended a two hundredth anniversary of the faith community of Saint Romuald Catholic Church in Hardinsburg, Kentucky. It was a beautiful celebration of faith, sacrifice, and community spirit.  I remember well my six years of serving that faith community, and it resurrects in my mind and heart some lasting relationships in my own journey of faith.  I am always humbled when young people come up and seem so grateful for my presence.  I am moved to gratitude when a woman comes up and apologizes for her past weaknesses and asks my forgiveness.  I am thrilled to see that faith has carried on and people are using their gifts for the glory of God and the building up of the community.  God, you are always so ready to open my eyes to the truth of your love.  In gratitude and celebration I am awaken once again!

Twenty-Fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time --“Friend, I am doing you no injustice” (Mt 20:13)


The parable in this past Sunday's Gospel seems to have several great lessons for us. Don’t people who work longer and harder deserve more pay? What about those who do not make a salary?  How can it be just that all reap the same benefits when they have not worked the same amount of time?

I read a reflection that gave me a deepr insight into the interpretation of this parable. At an elderly man's funeral, the priest spoke about how he had converted to Catholicism on his deathbed. I will call the man, Rick. Rick was like those who were hired last in the parable. The priest made the analogy of how some people, when they are going on a train trip, buy their tickets far in advance, ensuring their reserved seat. Others rush into the station at the very last moment, buy their ticket and reach the same destination at the same time as those who planned ahead. The assurance that Rick had arrived at the same heavenly destination that all of us were striving for seems fair. In fact I am very trilled and comforted by this. Perhaps this is because for over the past 20 years I have walked with people who were asking to join us in our Catholic way of life.


Perhaps the key for those first hired was to love the ones who got in just under the wire. But how to foster that open and unselfish love for everyone is a question that is hard to embrace.  It is counter cultural, gospel like.


As one reflection I prayed with stated,verse 15 points out the destructiveness of "evil-eye envy in a community." The owner asks, literally, “Is your eye evil  because I am good?” The question is about God’s goodness, which is extended equally to all. How difficult it is for us not to look enviously on goodness poured out on others, even as it has been lavished upon ourselves. Is it not, however, a great relief that God’s justice does not mean that people get what they deserve?

This week I pray and ask for the grace to look with eyes of God, desiring good for all person!

POLISHING THOSE BEADS

When I was about eight years old, my mother and I took a vacation trip to Chihuahua, Mexico. We went to the market, churches, museums, and lovely neighborhoods. But my strongest memory of that trip was when (just on an impulse, I think) we ducked into a religious goods store. Mama told me to pick out ANYTHING I WANTED! My eight-year old eyes settled on a rather baroque (not to say gaudy!) rosary, whose beads were iridescent and multicolored like soap bubbles, with ornate filigreed connectors between the mysteries. I loved that rosary, for not very noble reasons, but when I left home I left it behind with my other childhood things.

Clearing out my mother's personal items after her death, I found and tucked it away where it stayed for another fifteen years, a childhood memento. When I got it out again, the luster of the beads was dimmed, and the ornate connectors were tarnished. But having "rediscovered" the Rosary as a help to meditative prayer, and having broken or lost my other rosaries, I started using that one. Now the luster of the soap-bubble beads has been restored, and the connectors are shiny again.

Every time I use it, I think about how we can rediscover old forms of prayer, about how all prayer gets "shinier" as we practice it, and I reconnect with my generous mother and with my eight-year old self that could be led to God by the beauty of soap bubbles.

What it means to be a daughter of Saint Angela Merici

I grew up in a small community with the Motherhouse of the Dominican Sisters (where my Mother’s two sisters were members), within seven miles of my home. Some ten or eleven miles in the opposite direction is the Motherhouse of the Sisters of Charity of Nazareth where several cousins were members. Equally distant from my home, and nestled between (and a little south) of these is the Motherhouse of the Sisters of Loretto.

It was to none of these three communities that I was attracted, however, but rather to the Ursuline Sisters of Mount Saint Joseph who had taught me from first grade through twelfth grade. These were the years when the Ursulines were teaching in public schools in Kentucky. I didn’t know anything about St. Angela at that time, but as I reflect back on those days, I am convinced that the decision to teach in those public schools was because St. Angela, seeing the need for educational opportunities in that little pocket of Catholicity in Kentucky, urged her daughters to "risk new things". And it was there in the little hamlet of the "Burg" that I became acquainted with the spirit of St. Angela through the Sisters who taught me. I recall opportunities that were made available to me, not because of any obligation, but because the Sisters who taught me, inspired by the example of St. Angela, wanted to help me make the most of the talents God had given me. I recall Sr. Caroline Wathen, who taught me in 4^th. and 5^th. grades, and who, in the spirit of Angela, went the extra mile to learn how to teach phonics (a totally new subject area at the time) so she could teach it to us. To this day I still use the knowledge gained in that class. Recognizing that I had some artistic ability, she also gave me art lessons after school. I recall my 6^th. grade teacher, Sr. Leona Willett, who challenged me with more advanced work when I had completed the assigned 6^th. grade work. These, and so many other actions on the part of the Sisters who taught me I recognize as the spirit of Angela at work through them to help me be a better person.

If I was impressed by my observations of these Ursuline Sisters in the classroom, I was even more impressed by their dedication and faithfulness to their spiritual life. I offer one example: On any number of occasions, when I popped into Holy Trinity Church for a late afternoon short visit, I would observe the Sisters gathered in silent prayer. Even in the dead of winter, they were there, huddled near one of two coal stoves that were the only sources of heat for the church. The spirit of Angela was alive and well!

So what does it mean to me personally to be a Daughter of St. Angela? It means trying to live an authentic religious life and community life. It means doing what I can through my living and my teaching, to help others reach their full potential. It means doing the very best that I can in my teaching, going beyond the call of duty if someone needs credit in a course that isn’t being offered on the regular schedule, being a good listener when someone needs to talk things out, offering an encouraging word when someone is struggling, and trying to take the high road when myriad other things come up in the course of a day’s work. In short, to be a Daughter of St. Angela is to wholeheartedly live a Christian life.

Contributed by Sister Mary Diane Taylor, osu

lesson on service

I would like to share a story with you that has much to teach us. It is about a little girl whose grandfather would bring her a present every time he came to visit. These gifts were never the sorts of things that other people brought like dolls, books or stuffed animals. She stated that "my dolls and stuffed animals have been gone for more than half a century, but many of my grandfather's gifts are with me still." Once he brought her a little paper cup. She looked inside it expecting something special. It was full of dirt. She was not allowed to play with dirt. Disappointed, she told him this. He only smiled at her and picked up her little teapot from her doll-like tea set and took her to the kitchen where he filled it with water. Back in her room, he put the little cup on the windowsill and handed her the teapot. "If you promise to put some water in the cup every day, something may happen," he told her. He nodded with encouragement,"Everyday, my child." And so she promised. At first, curious to see what would happen, she did not mind doing this. But as the days went by and nothing changed, it got harder and harder to remember to put water in the cup. After a week, she asked her grandfather if it was time to stop yet. Shaking his head no, he said, "Everyday my child." The second week was even harder and she became resentful of the promise to put water in the cup. When her grandfather came again, she tried to give it back to him but he refused to take it, saying simply," Everyday,my child." By the third week, she began to forget to put water in the cup. Often she would remember only afer she had crawled in bed and would have to get out of bed and water it in the dark. But she did not miss a single day. Then one morning, there were two little green leaves that had not been there the night before. She was completed astonished. Day by day they got bigger. She could not wait to tell her grandfater, certian that he would be just as surprised. But of course he was not. Gently and wisely he explained to her that life is everywhere, hidden in the most ordinary and unlikely places. She was delighted. "And all it needs is water Grandpa?" she asked him. Sweetly he touched her on the top of her head, "No, my child," he said, "All it needs is your faithfulness."

This was her first powerful lesson on service. Her grandfaher would not have used these words. He would have said that we need to remember to bless the life around us and the life within us. He would have said when we remember, we cab bless life, we can repair the world.

Be blessed and be a blessing to others today!

...be enough

I am struck that on our journey through life, God is so generous in giving us enough. Enough guidance to keep us on the right path. Enough hope to keep us striving. Enough grace to allow us to stumble and pick ourselves up. Enough friends to keep us honest. May you realize this day, that you have enough so that you might listen to your heart and respond generously to our brothers and sisters throughout our world who are lacking so much. I have always thought that if everyone shared from their blessings, bounty, and abundance, there would never be people who die of basic necessities. Be blessed and be a blessing to others!

NO FEAR, HERE

The great football player Marcus Allen was commenting on how proud he was of overcoming a lifelong fear of water. He said, "Death will kill you once, but fear kills you over and over again, if you let it." Not a new idea, for sure...was it Winston Churchill who said "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself?"

Easy to believe in our heads, but not so easy to accept in our hearts. People like me who tend to live in the future, instead of devoting our energy to the present moment, really waste time on fear. That's why I am trying to take as my motto the little prayer, "May the blessings of each day be the blessings I need most." Or..."give us THIS DAY our daily bread." The Israelites following Moses through the desert only gathered enough Manna for the day...We must trust we will always be fed with what we need!

I love this quote by Howard Thurman,

"Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

Now is that not something to ponder. What gives you energy and makes you come alive? Name it and go do it. I am headed out to enjoy a nice walk in the coolness of the afternoon!

What about you, what makes you come alive?

Do not lose heart!

I am continually among them provided they believe and do not lose heart.
--Saint Angela Merici, Counsel 5/38-39

As I continue sharing my journey in companionship with our founder, Angela Merici, her words continue to guide me. The day in and day out demands pull me in numerous directions. What keeps me centered and hopeful is linked to this phrase from her Fifth Counsel. Angela's exhortation, "do not lose heart" reminds me to whom I have committed my heart and why I am able to continue inspite of pettiness, negativity, demands, pressures,or just not enough of me to go around. It also helps to stay connected to my sisters in community who joyfully reflect fidelity, goodness and holiness. Thanks Marty and Julie for your witness, your inspiration and your support!

AN ENCOURAGING WORD

Today I was wondering: what made Jesus able to speak "with authority" in his hometown synagogue, in such a way that people noticed him for the first time? He surely must have spoken there in the 30 years before his public ministry began. That, and the fact that people at Brescia have been so welcoming as I began my new job this week, made me reflect on the role of encouragement and affirmation in our lives. Imagine how much Jesus must have been encouraged by the powerful affirmation he received from John the Baptist and from the "voice from heaven" at his baptism!

As a biologist I often get distracted by wondering what are the evolutionary advantages of certain forms of behavior; why would natural selection "choose" them for human beings? It's easy to see why encouragement/ affirmation would be an advantageous behavior. (Picture a group of proto-humans cooperating to bring down a Wooly Mammoth: "Good shot, Oogh! Now we have him.") But then I tried to imagine how the opposite of encouragement could possibly be good. I don't mean constructive criticism that helps us do a better job next time: ("Better to aim your spear at THAT spot, Oogh!") -- I mean negative gossip behind someone's back.

Can you imagine any biological, spiritual, or even personal benefits from negative gossip? So why is it such a "hobby" for some humans? Go figure. Affirmation and encouragement are surely more human, more Godly. "The glory of God is a human being, fully alive!"

I found a treasure

Let them have Jesus Christ for their only treasure.
---5th Counsel of Angela Merici

This beautiful image of Jesus as a treasure resurrects within me a memory from a beautiful song, I FOUND A TREASURE by Dan Schutte. The words are beautiful. "Jesus, Lord of my life, I can ask for nothing more. Than to see and believe that my life lies in you in the kingdom of my God. I found a treasure in a field... I will sell all I have, give all that I am, to claim the treasure of my heart." The words still gives me chills, to recall, recognize and embrace the depth of the richness that is mine in following Jesus Christ.

When Saint Angela calls us her daughters to go to the feet of Jesus in prayer, I recognize that this is perhaps what she intended. For it is there that I claim the greatest treasure in my life. The treasure of Jesus, who loves me, and loves us all. My hope is that someday I may truly embrace and believe how loved I am by Jesus. How precious I am in the eyes of God.

Embrace simplicity

We call upon each one to embrace poverty. --Saint Angela Merici

What has striving to live the vow of poverty taught me? Over the years I have deepened my desire to be totally dependent on God for all my needs. In today's society it is a challenge to not get caught up in consuming and greed. As I observe my sisters in community, I am inspired and encouraged to simplify my life. The fruit of this endeavor results in a genuine peace of enjoying the fruits of this surrender.

God will provide

Saint Angela tells us today, "Do not be anxious about any temporal need, since God alone knows how to provide for you." Rule:10:16-17

Now how can one not be anxious in this world of today? It is a great act of faith to allow your heart and mind to let go of any fears, anxiety, or concerns about needs. However, every day on the news I witness those with nothing. Those who model total dependence on God and others for the basic necessities of life. I often think that I am where I am because my faith is not that strong. I get very anxious and as bad as I hate to admit I know God will provide, but my faith is lacking. I can say it with my mouth, I trust in God, but when it comes down to acting on that faith and trust I waver terribly. I know Saint Angela had reason to remind us, her daughters not to be anxious. As I embrace the call of the community in my position as Director of Vocation Ministry, there are fears, concerns, questions that arise. Community members asking, and rightly so, what direction are you going to take in this new ministry? Today, I entrust these words of Angela to guide me. In prayer Angela tell me. Martha, Cherished daughter, do not be anxious. God has a plan and God alone knows how to provide for you. Entrust you anxiousness and listen to God. God alone is enough. God alone will provide.

I profess

I just celebrated on Sunday the 28th anniversary of my final profession as a Mount Saint Joseph Ursuline Sister. Now I believe this is quite an accomplishment! I took the time to recall the events of that day when I stood before the community and the Church represented there and committed my life, through the vows of poverty, chastity, obedience and instruction to the Church. It has been a roller coaster ride, and I ask every day for the grace to persevere. The Church is continually evolving and my heart sometimes gets a little anxious but I know the Spirit will sustain and heal us, the Body of Christ.

I was able to celebrate the day by gathering with a faith community who was welcoming a new member into Full Communion with the Catholic Church. I thought it was a significant parallel. A man who embraced the Catholic faith by professing, "I believe and profess all that the Holy Catholic Church believes, teaches and proclaims to be revealed by God." I also recalled my own words of committment, "I know in whom I place my trust, and I believe that God is able to fulfill all that I entrusted to God through vows of poverty, chastity, obedience and instruction." It love this quote: "Passion is a feeling that tells you: this is the right thing to do. Nothing can stand in my way. It doesn't matter what anyone else says. This feeling is so good that it cannot be ignored. I'm going to follow my bliss and act upon this glorious sensation of joy."

I am so grateful for my call to be a Mount Saint Joseph Ursuline and with passion and joy I embrace my call and speak my YES again and again!

DROPPING THE BUCKET

Today is the last day of what has been a remarkable sabbatical year, and tomorrow I start my new job. I ritualized the transition in an odd way--by cleaning my room! As I dusted each picture and each item, I said a prayer of thanksgiving for family, friends, and life experiences they represented. Then I got out the office items that have followed me through my adult life phases: from career as biology teacher, through community leadership, into (very symbolical!) storage during the sabbatical year, and now into my new office in the Career Center at Brescia University.

I felt a golden glow of gratitude for what has been, and a twinge of anticipation for what will be. I'm READY for it, and eager to get settled in tomorrow. But my dream journal has been telling me that I have some anxiety about taking on this new venture--can I do it? Will I be successful? Face it, I'm a technophobe, and am nervous about having to learn database and spreadsheet computer programs for the other half of my job, as Grants Coordinator...

I took comfort from this morning's readings at Mass, which were full of reassurances that God will provide whatever we need (even mutiplying loaves and fishes if necessary). Then, in prayer later in the day, I randomly opened A Book of Wonders by Ed Hayes, and look what it said: "Trusting, I lower my empty bucket into You, the mystic bottomless well, filling it full of whatever I truly need to accomplish the task You have given me." Well, I guess I finally got the message!

NO BOOK NEEDED

On a recent trip to the Canadian Rockies, I didn't take a prayer book...didn't need one! In Celtic spirituality they talk of "thin places"--places where the spiritual world is closest or most accessible to our everyday one. Mountains are "thin places" for me; if Meister Eckhart is right when he says that "every creature is a word of God, or a book about God" then I can't even imagine how many volumes (how many whole libraries!) a mountain would represent.

I was doing a guided meditation once, when my director placed me on a mountaintop overlooking a lovely valley and a big city. I was directed to go down into the city and look for God. Mentally walking around the city, I began feeling guilty because I "knew" I was supposed to find God in the people I met, but that time at least, it was not happening the way I thought it was supposed to. I knew I was not going to "pass" this test!

Then I looked back over my shoulder, at the mountain, and realized that for me God had been there all along. God is wherever we are--but especially on a mountain!

Models of grandparenting

Do you hold special memories of your days spent with your grandparents? I was not fortunate enough to know my grandfathers or my materal grandmother. However, I have heard some wonderful stories, so the image of their gentleness and love are etched on my heart. I look forward to meeting them someday. Although grandmothers and granddads are a cherished treasure in our unfolding, each has their own specialness. My trips to spend the day with Grandmammy, my dad's mother, fell on Sunday afternoon as we packed into the car and travel about 45 mintues to her home. It was always peaceful and elegant, and the routine was so predictable. Gathering apples, climbing in the apple tree when no one was looking. The visit concluded the same every time. Just before we said our good-byes, Grandmammy would gather the kids and pass out cookies or candy or both. What a treat!

Now, I am sure Saints Anne and Joachum had a family routine of interacting with Jesus as well. I can imagine it was also very memorable. Definitely, they were people who loved and nurtured the Christ Child in their role as grandparents. Today as the Church remembers these special saints, I encourage you to call to mind your own formative years and the role your grandparents played in your life. What do you cherish as you recall their marks of love and unique touch that cemented your family together?

Let them grow together until harvest.--Matthew 13:30

"When the crop grew and bore fruit, the weeds appeared as well." Now being a farm girl I know that weeds are never welcome. They distract from the process of growth. They interfere with the plan. They can become destructive and overpower the fruit. Get them out before too much damage is caused.

However, upon reflecting upon my own weeds, I can see that they might serve a valuable purpose. I think the important thing is to do my own inner work and determine what is "wheat" and what is "weed". They can be confusing you know. Perhaps the uprooting is necessary but as Jesus declares in time, all will be harvested and the destructive weeds will be eliminated. In the meantime, can I learn something from my own weeds? It is possible that in yanking out the weed some wheat would be eliminated as well.

Obviously, Jesus is much better than I am at determining wheat from weeds. He alone knows what is inside my heart and is full of compassion and mercy rather than harsh judgment. Today's gospel causes me to reflect on what my weeds are teaching me. I have been about doing damage control these past few days because of a public statement I made that sounded judgmental and even unkind. After reflecting on what I said, I realized that I left out a very important sentence. My spirit was killed because of comments I heard during a presentation not because of the presenter or the content of the report but rather the uncharitable comments I heard around me as the report was being given. The wheat and weeds were confused. And I came across to some as judging, rude, unkind, unchristian. My heart knows what I meant and Jesus does too, and hopefully the harvest will be worth the pain of misunderstanding.

I ask for the grace to safeguard the gifts of wheat and to let go of the weeds in my own heart that I might contribute to a just and fruitful harvest.

life attracts life...

I heard this statement recently in a presentation on new membership for consecrated life. I have spent some time reflecting on that one statement. It seems to hold true for us as Ursuline Sisters of Mount Saint Joseph. There are many in relationship with us as individuals and as a community who are inspired by our efforts to live out our response to God's call. It may not be something that they can articulate. What is it that they experience with us that gives them energy, joy or peace? What makes this relationship different from their family or friends who nurture, affirm and support them. I believe it is that they find us grateful for life. Appreciative of life! They find us "life-giving"! Alive with passion and love! Clinging to Christ the vine who nurtures our own life and our relationship with Him. Life attracts life! I am grateful for the opportunity to examine my own choices. To take time to do the inner work to know that life truly attract life.

MY KIND OF SAINT

I spent my retreat last week with some very wise people, while reading a book (Becoming Who You Are) by Father James Martin, SJ. Given the fact that sanctity is God's goal for each of us, Thomas Merton's advice is good: "The problem of sanctity is finding out who I am, and discovering my True Self." And "we cannot become ourselves unless we know ourselves..."

The call to be your True Self is the call to be a saint (Who, ME? -- thinking of apostles and martyrs.) God would not call us to something impossible, like being Saint Michael the Archangel, for example. There's a picture of him in case you have not been introduced. I'm not even called to be a saint like Angela Merici or Ursula or Mother Teresa or Pope John XXIII, but like myself--my BEST self. We don't have to be someone else to be holy. We are led to our own brand of holiness by our desires, by what attracts us, by what we like.

Mother Teresa was talking to an idealistic young man who had come to Calcutta to be like her. She told him, "Find your own Calcutta!"

Nothing More Than Nothing

I came upon a story that I loved the first time I heard it and the significance and lesson it presents is still powerful. I regret that I cannot give credit to the author so if you know the author I would love to know. The story goes like this:

"Tell me the weight of a snowflake," a coal mouse asked a wild dove.
"Nothing more than nothing," was the answer.
"In that case I must tell you a marvelous story," the coal mouse said. "I sat on a branch of a fir, close to its trunk, when it began to snow--not heavily, not in a giant blizzard, no, just like in a dream, without any violence. Since I didn't have anything better to do, I counted the snow-flakes settling on the twigs and needles of my branceh. Their number was exactly 3,741,952. When the next snowflake dropped onto the branch---the branch broke off." Having said that, the coal mouse scurried away.
The dove, since Noah's time an authority on the matter, thought about the story for a while and finally said to herself: "Perhaps there is only one person's voice lacking for peace to come into the world."

One snowflake made all the difference. Do you want to make difference? Let your life speak.

What lesson do you glean from this story?

Known in PRESENCE and WORD

I came across this YouTube video from the National Religious Vocation Conference communication and was very inspired. It is a powerful reminder to me that God comes to us and really touches us through WORD and PRESENCE. Enjoy! I would love to hear what your reaction was when you viewed it.

For those not sure you can press play, sit back and be awed!

WWAD?

We've all heard the little mini-meditation, WWJD? "What would Jesus do?" Well, I (like most Ursuline Sisters) could paraphrase that a little and ask WWAD? "What would Angela do?"--in seeking to be true to the charism of our founder, Saint Angela Merici. While I was discerning a new ministry I spent a lot of time on that question, and decided that Angela would have urged me to let my natural likes and dislikes point me in a general direction, then see how it looked in light of our community charism...after all, the sisters in her early community did not share a common ministry--the important thing was how they WERE, not what they DID.

In the course of my job search I talked to Father Larry, the president of Brescia, our Ursuline-sponsored university in Owensboro...figuring that if Ursulines were still sponsoring it, Angela would approve of the work going on there. He and I talked about things I like doing: advising, research, writing, teaching, and working for the environment. To make a long story short, my new job at Brescia will involve all those things --and the environment piece I pursue in my free time too, as water tester, trainer / teacher of water test volunteers, and member of just about any local committee that involves water!

So beginning August 1, I will be serving the students at Brescia as Director of the Career Center (advising and teaching), Grants Coordinator (research and writing) and occasional on-line biology / environmental science teaching. How's that for having your cake and eating it, too? I continue to pray for all those seeking meaningful work, for those stuck in jobs they don't like, and for all those discerning transitions. Thank you for all your prayers for me as I navigated these waters since last fall!

CLOUDS OF WITNESSES

Many years ago, I read a mystery entitled "A Cloud of Witnesses." I don't even remember what it was about, but the title continued to intrigue me, even before I knew it was a Bible quotation from the book of Hebrews. Almost every day for the past few weeks, I've been helping to edit the "saints" stories for our new Ursuline Book of Prayer, and I think about that quotation every day.

Working on them all day, every day, some weeks, I feel like I have absorbed them--sort of like taking a long trip inside a small car with a smoker--one emerges completely "smoked," But that's not a good comparison, because this "soaking up saints" is a pleasant experience! I leave work with my head full of great stories. There are so many interesting saints besides the familiar ones, and when you read their real stories with all their interesting "peculiarities" left in (not edited out to make them sound "holier") they emerge as real people...slaves, queens, concentration camp victims...but real people.

I could have been depressed, comparing myself to all these heroic people, but that's not what saints are for--they are held up to us to show us that--no matter what the circumstances of our daily lives--childhood abuse, violence, addictions, selfishness, sin--there are people who have coped with these things (and worse) and used them to grow in holiness. As we said in the '60s, "Bloom Where You're Planted!"

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This week at the Motherhouse we have been having a special period of 60 hours of adoration before the Blessed Sacrament praying for those discerning a vocation to consecrated life in observance of Pope Benedict 60th anniversary of his call to priesthood. It has been a graced time for me. The silence and quiet stirs up what is most important in our consecrated life and that is an intimate relationship with Christ. In the silence I discover and experience the presence that is with me even when I am not aware or able to be quiet. A friend once wrote a song entitled, "Silent Music". The words came to mind today as I savored this special time in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament. " Deep within me, something stirs..."