STUFF

Packing to leave home this time was (as it always is) a real lesson in priorities. I really went wild this time, getting rid of so much stuff that a sister I live with scolded me saying, "Michele, you're moving, not dying!" The winnowing out was an exhausting process, because each little thing I picked up was a decision point, shaving off a little bit of my earlier choices and personal history.

But it was a very free-ing process-- I even shredded my journals dating back to 1985 (sorry, if you were planning to use them to advance my cause for beatification!) and there was a real sense of starting over, of beginning a new chapter, of turning my face toward the future instead of looking back over my shoulder at the past. It must be how a tree feels after shedding this season's leaves.

I think as a matter of self-preservation I will be working even harder to practice the sacrament of the Present Moment: just do THIS thing now and focus on it, rather than trying to anticipate all the problems I will have all week (my strategy of the past.) Maybe with practice I will manage to get a C+ in "present momenting" before I die! It's a worthy goal, anyway.

May every moment of the rest of Advent help lead us to that moment that shall be timeless,,,

Be thou my Vision...

There is reference in today's Scripture for Mass which stirs hope... " I will leave as a remnant in your midst a people humble and lowly, who shall take refuge in the name of the Lord..."  What is the purpose of this remnant and is there evidence of a remnant in our lives today?  I think it is pretty clear what God is doing. God is recreating us, gathering the faithful remnant and transforming us, purifying us and inviting us into a place of refuge.  There is hope for the remnant, for the community, a promise of hope and peace that will come "on that day."  

I am encouraged today " to take refuge in the name of  God while waiting "for that day."  
Give me new sight and perfect vision.  Relying on your goodness, O God, I humbly ask through the intercession of your servant, Saint Lucy, to give perfect vision to our eyes, that we might serve for your greater honor and glory. 

These are the words of Juan Diego,  whose feastday we recall today. "I am a nobody. I am a small rope, a tiny ladder, the tail end, a leaf..."  Juan's words provide for me much to aspire toward in my faith. Juan is a wonderful mentor for my life in the virtue of humility.  His faith response to our Lady, the Virgin Mary's request, " I vividly desire that a church be built on this site, so that in it I can be present and give my love, compassion, help, and defense, for I am your most devoted mother . . . I hear your laments and desire to come to your aid to remedy all your miseries, pains, and sufferings.”  In his simple faith, he acted. A willing and humbly servant, Juan Diego was a vessel. A church was built on the site where our Lady appeared and thousands converted to Christianity.

How I long for the humility and deep faith that I recognize in Juan Diego.  His response mirrors the Lady's own YES. Young, humble, faith-filled, willing to embrace a call whose source was truly divine.  The response of both has ignited a deeper faith in many through the years.  The enthusiasm of this feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe is so appropriate during this Gaudette-Rejoice week of Advent.  I seek to be a more humble, joyous, and willing vessel of welcome to all.   Juan Diego intercede for me this day.

ANOTHER LEAP

I've been involved in a major discernment lately, and it finally came to a head when I accepted a new job--far, far away from familiar people and scenery and activities. I knew someone was knocking on my door when sleepless nights became the norm rather than the exception. This mysterious nightly visitor would not leave me alone until I sent in my resume to the search committee for the position of Coalition Coordinator of UNANIMA International. After that I started to sleep again, at least until I was invited to New York City for an interview!


But this whole process has reminded me how much we rely on the voices of others to tune into God's voice...after members of my own religious community, members of the UNANIMA board, and heads of other United Nations NGOs started asking me, "Are you going to apply for that position, Michele?" I started wondering if maybe Someone were trying to tell me something. Suddenly I realized that my reasons for NOT applying for the job to that point were the noble motives of fear and laziness. Not a great way to live your life...


Looking back on most major decisions in my life, I realize that I finally "took the leap" only after I heard others put the idea into words--whether it was entering religious life, moving from teaching to administration, or into community leadership. How carefully we should listen for the call of God through others!

Now is the time

TODAY’S READINGS: “Be watchful! Be alert! You do not know when the time will come.”

In an Advent pastoral letter to his diocese, the 15th-century bishop of Milan and later Saint Charles Borromeo wrote: “Beloved, now is the acceptable time spoken of by the Spirit . . . . This is the time eagerly awaited by the patriarchs and prophets.” Note the saint is using the present tense: “Now is”; “this is.” Advent has a way of reaching into the past and making Christ’s coming a living reality in the present. It also, however, looks ahead. In a time of preparing to celebrate Christ’s first Advent we ready ourselves for his second—as Borromeo said in his letter: “The church asks us to understand that Christ, who came once in the flesh, is prepared to come again. When we remove all obstacles to his presence he will come, at any hour and moment, to dwell spiritually in our hearts.”

I share this with you from a resource I read this morning.   Not sure who composed it but it brought to mind why I love this liturgical season of Advent so much. It is my favorite liturgical season.  I just got back from celebrating the liturgy in my parish, and our pastor talked about the "waiting room" of Advent.  I loved the image and will carry it forward throughout these next four weeks of waiting, trying to stay watchful, alert and vigilant. Waiting is never easy, and sometimes, it is in the midst of waiting that Christ becomes vividly present.  I pray for all those who are waiting, that all our hearts might be blessed with unspeakable joy!  I extend the challenge that I heard this morning at Mass,  go forth and be the presence of Christ throughout these Advent days! I will be looking for you!  Now is the time!

Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge into the light." ~Helen Keller

It is that time of year to pause and recall the many ways that God has showered me with blessings.  I have on top of my list the gift of faith, that sustains me through some very empty times and inspires me to hang on with hope. Faith is an anchor which I cling to when I am surrounded by people with great needs.  The numerous people who ask for prayer reminds me that I am not alone in acknowledging the One who heals, directs, consoles, and loves us.  Today, I am grateful for my faith.  In faith, I ask you Creator God to heal and comfort all those in need who may be struggling in any way, especially in our shattered homes, families, country and world.  Through the gift of faith, may we discover your presense, direction and peace.  Allow us, God of Light, to see you through the eyes of faith.

NCYC is here!

Today I am in Indianapolis along with many youth and young adults who have gathered for the National Catholic Youth Conference.  I wish  every young person could have this experience. I am grateful that parishes and youth ministers take the time to gather with their youth to experience this so that they can unpack it gradually.  There is a contagious joy in gathering with others who are excited and know how to enjoy each other and their Catholic faith.  I hope and pray that each participant receive a special blessings and bless others whom they meet.  Christ is counting on you!

MORE ON PFP

There's a lot to think about with Angela's "terrific threesome" of Prayer, Fasting, and Pilgrimage...this time I was thinking about how PERSONAL they all are:

Even imprisonment and death can't prevent the movement of the individual soul to God in prayer. In fasting, I deny food to this body I live in (can you think of anything more personal than food that actually becomes you?) I remember Sister Cheryl Clemons telling us that in Angela's day, all some women had real control over in their lives was what they ate. And as for pilgrimage--well, you certainly can't hire somebody else to take a pilgrimage for you. You have to do the walking and put up with the blisters and mosquitos and hard beds yourself--otherwise it is not a pilgrimage!

All three must be experienced at a deeply personal level, which was where Angela was in her relationship with God--and where her daughters and sons aspire to be!

For all the blessings known and unknown, we give thanks...

This time of year our thoughts turn to blessings.  There is an old prayer I recall, "For all the blessings, known and unknown, remembered and forgotten, we give thee thanks." 

Every day I am showered with blessings, some I recognize, others remain hidden or unspoken. Some blessings I hold on to forever and some I just forget, nevertheless,I am very blessed.  When someone asks me "How are you?"  I need to say,  I AM BLESSED!

It really is the unforgotten blessings and the more than half-forgotten ones that I do well to look back, savor and remember.  They are part of my life experience and they have created  a sacred journey.  Take time to recall how you are blessed and know that we are united in gratitude today!

Frederick Buechner says, " Life itself can be thought of as an alphabet by which God graciously makes known God's  presence, purpose and power among us.  Like the Hebrew alphabet has no vowels, and in that sense the words are always veiled, subtle, cryptic so that it is lef to us to delve their meaning, to fill in the vowels, for ourselves by means of all the faith and imagination we can muster."

I think this is a good analogy.  God speaks to us in such a way, not because God chooses to be obscure but because the meaning of an incarnate word is the meaning it has for the one it is spoken to, the meaning that becomes clear and effective in our lives only when we discover it for ourselves.

It seems it takes hard word to hear the incarnate word, but the discovery of God's voice, presence and and power is worth every ounce of energy and time!

When God speaks it is usually into our personal lives.  Someone we love is diagnosed with cancer. Some unforeseen act of kindness touches the heart.  An act of insensitivity makes the blood run cold.  We fail a friend, or a friend fails us, and we are appalled at the capacity we have for estranging the very people in our lives we need the most.  Or maybe nothing extraordinary happens--just one day following another.  We sleep, we dream, we wake, we work. We remember and we forget.  God is there, speaking to us.

To attempt to express in even the most insightful and theologically sophisticated terms the meaning of what God speaks throught the events of our lives is as precarious as to try to express the meaning of the sound of snow falling, or leaves changing colors or the spectacle of the setting sun. But I choose to believe that God speaks nonetheless, and the reason that God's words are impossible to capture in human language is they are ultimately always incarnate words.  They are words fleshed out in the everydayness no less than in the crises of our lived experience. 

Listen to your life, all moments are key moments.

I am discovering that if you really keep your eyes open and your ears open, if you really pay attention to life, even such a limited and limiting life as the one I am living, you will be opened up onto extraordinary vistas.

Eating supper with a friend, a supper prepared by their own hands.  Trying to accomplish a simple day's task.  Hearing the rain patter against the window.  Watching the maple leaves fall.  Comforting one who is burying her mother at age 92.  Driving a good friend for radiation treatment.  Enjoying a serious conversation about the future of the Ursuline Sisters of Mount Saint Joseph.  There is no event so commonplace but that God is present within it, always hiddenly, always leaving you room to recognize or not to recognize God's presence.  If I were called upon to state in a few words the essence of everything, it would be something like this.  LISTEN TO YOUR LIFE.  See if for the fathomless mystery that it is.  In the boredom and pain of it, no less than in the excitement and gladness, touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it, because in the last analysis ALL MOMENTS ARE KEY MOMENTS, and all life is precious, all life is gift.

ANGELA'S TOOLCHEST

I recently attended an Ursuline gathering at which the speaker spoke of three of St. Angela Merici's primary spiritual "tools:" prayer, fasting, and pilgrimage. I was intrigued with the idea that those three tools actually represent three means of connection--connection to my own true self, to God, and to others.

• Fasting gets the soul and body in conversation with one another, connecting me to my true self, and helps me see the divine in myself.



• Praying puts ME in my place, and in direct contact with God.



• Pilgrimage takes me out of myself, takes me out of my comfort zone, to a place where the Other is at home, and helps me see the divine in others.

Now, I am not one to seek suffering, but meditating on these spiritual tools, I see where they could work for me...perhaps I can use the discipline of Weight Watchers for a holy purpose!

RIGHT CLICKING

When I finally learned to right click, it opened up the door to a whole new world of things I could do on my computer. (For those who are even less computer-literate than I was--if there are any people like that--that refers to clicking on the RIGHT button of the mouse, instead of the usual left button.)

But it's always like that when we step out of our comfort zone: first a period of confusion and darkness, then you can suddenly see lots of things you couldn't see before. I can think of a lot of Right Click Moments in my life. The decision to join religious life was a right click, and oh! the doors that has opened for me. The Enneagram was a right click--that sent my self-knowledge into overdrive. the United Nations experience opened up The World.

We should really be grateful for Right Click Moments, even when they are painful or negative...easier said than done, right?

GROWING UP

I've grown up several times.

Thomas Merton said we grow up only when we discover we are not the center of the universe, that the world is bigger than we are--and that's happened to me several times.

Well, let's see, the first time I "grew up" must have been in that developmental stage of early childhood, when I discovered that other people's needs mattered and needed to be taken into consideration. That might happen later for an only child!

Then there was the stage in my teen years when I discovered that there was a transcendant character to the world, that God really was, and really was FOR ME.

Then there was graduate school when I matured intellectually, and learned to reconcile what I knew about the universe with what I felt about the transcendent. And most recently, my experience at the United Nations showed me how big and how small the world really is.

But Merton went on to say that when we grow up is when we really find God, when we move beyond ourselves. And I think we will not completely do that until the moment of death, when we give up everything into God's embrace. We have lots of "growing up" to look forward to!!!!

My God who beckons...

There are some days when God awakes you in the early hours of dawn. Today was one of those blessed mornings and it just seemed so appropriate today to greet you, My God who beckons with song. 

  As morning breaks, I look to you O God, to be my strength this day, Alleluia!

God's call is constant. It is heard in the silence, in the crisp morning air, in the memory of a loved one that is with God.  Today, I ask for an awareness to recognize the glimpses of God. May these God moments alert me to God's voice calling me to a deeper realization of MYSTERY and PRESENCE. 

  We lose sight of God's love, awaken us once more to the truth of your love.

Yesterday I attended a two hundredth anniversary of the faith community of Saint Romuald Catholic Church in Hardinsburg, Kentucky. It was a beautiful celebration of faith, sacrifice, and community spirit.  I remember well my six years of serving that faith community, and it resurrects in my mind and heart some lasting relationships in my own journey of faith.  I am always humbled when young people come up and seem so grateful for my presence.  I am moved to gratitude when a woman comes up and apologizes for her past weaknesses and asks my forgiveness.  I am thrilled to see that faith has carried on and people are using their gifts for the glory of God and the building up of the community.  God, you are always so ready to open my eyes to the truth of your love.  In gratitude and celebration I am awaken once again!

Twenty-Fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time --“Friend, I am doing you no injustice” (Mt 20:13)


The parable in this past Sunday's Gospel seems to have several great lessons for us. Don’t people who work longer and harder deserve more pay? What about those who do not make a salary?  How can it be just that all reap the same benefits when they have not worked the same amount of time?

I read a reflection that gave me a deepr insight into the interpretation of this parable. At an elderly man's funeral, the priest spoke about how he had converted to Catholicism on his deathbed. I will call the man, Rick. Rick was like those who were hired last in the parable. The priest made the analogy of how some people, when they are going on a train trip, buy their tickets far in advance, ensuring their reserved seat. Others rush into the station at the very last moment, buy their ticket and reach the same destination at the same time as those who planned ahead. The assurance that Rick had arrived at the same heavenly destination that all of us were striving for seems fair. In fact I am very trilled and comforted by this. Perhaps this is because for over the past 20 years I have walked with people who were asking to join us in our Catholic way of life.


Perhaps the key for those first hired was to love the ones who got in just under the wire. But how to foster that open and unselfish love for everyone is a question that is hard to embrace.  It is counter cultural, gospel like.


As one reflection I prayed with stated,verse 15 points out the destructiveness of "evil-eye envy in a community." The owner asks, literally, “Is your eye evil  because I am good?” The question is about God’s goodness, which is extended equally to all. How difficult it is for us not to look enviously on goodness poured out on others, even as it has been lavished upon ourselves. Is it not, however, a great relief that God’s justice does not mean that people get what they deserve?

This week I pray and ask for the grace to look with eyes of God, desiring good for all person!

POLISHING THOSE BEADS

When I was about eight years old, my mother and I took a vacation trip to Chihuahua, Mexico. We went to the market, churches, museums, and lovely neighborhoods. But my strongest memory of that trip was when (just on an impulse, I think) we ducked into a religious goods store. Mama told me to pick out ANYTHING I WANTED! My eight-year old eyes settled on a rather baroque (not to say gaudy!) rosary, whose beads were iridescent and multicolored like soap bubbles, with ornate filigreed connectors between the mysteries. I loved that rosary, for not very noble reasons, but when I left home I left it behind with my other childhood things.

Clearing out my mother's personal items after her death, I found and tucked it away where it stayed for another fifteen years, a childhood memento. When I got it out again, the luster of the beads was dimmed, and the ornate connectors were tarnished. But having "rediscovered" the Rosary as a help to meditative prayer, and having broken or lost my other rosaries, I started using that one. Now the luster of the soap-bubble beads has been restored, and the connectors are shiny again.

Every time I use it, I think about how we can rediscover old forms of prayer, about how all prayer gets "shinier" as we practice it, and I reconnect with my generous mother and with my eight-year old self that could be led to God by the beauty of soap bubbles.

What it means to be a daughter of Saint Angela Merici

I grew up in a small community with the Motherhouse of the Dominican Sisters (where my Mother’s two sisters were members), within seven miles of my home. Some ten or eleven miles in the opposite direction is the Motherhouse of the Sisters of Charity of Nazareth where several cousins were members. Equally distant from my home, and nestled between (and a little south) of these is the Motherhouse of the Sisters of Loretto.

It was to none of these three communities that I was attracted, however, but rather to the Ursuline Sisters of Mount Saint Joseph who had taught me from first grade through twelfth grade. These were the years when the Ursulines were teaching in public schools in Kentucky. I didn’t know anything about St. Angela at that time, but as I reflect back on those days, I am convinced that the decision to teach in those public schools was because St. Angela, seeing the need for educational opportunities in that little pocket of Catholicity in Kentucky, urged her daughters to "risk new things". And it was there in the little hamlet of the "Burg" that I became acquainted with the spirit of St. Angela through the Sisters who taught me. I recall opportunities that were made available to me, not because of any obligation, but because the Sisters who taught me, inspired by the example of St. Angela, wanted to help me make the most of the talents God had given me. I recall Sr. Caroline Wathen, who taught me in 4^th. and 5^th. grades, and who, in the spirit of Angela, went the extra mile to learn how to teach phonics (a totally new subject area at the time) so she could teach it to us. To this day I still use the knowledge gained in that class. Recognizing that I had some artistic ability, she also gave me art lessons after school. I recall my 6^th. grade teacher, Sr. Leona Willett, who challenged me with more advanced work when I had completed the assigned 6^th. grade work. These, and so many other actions on the part of the Sisters who taught me I recognize as the spirit of Angela at work through them to help me be a better person.

If I was impressed by my observations of these Ursuline Sisters in the classroom, I was even more impressed by their dedication and faithfulness to their spiritual life. I offer one example: On any number of occasions, when I popped into Holy Trinity Church for a late afternoon short visit, I would observe the Sisters gathered in silent prayer. Even in the dead of winter, they were there, huddled near one of two coal stoves that were the only sources of heat for the church. The spirit of Angela was alive and well!

So what does it mean to me personally to be a Daughter of St. Angela? It means trying to live an authentic religious life and community life. It means doing what I can through my living and my teaching, to help others reach their full potential. It means doing the very best that I can in my teaching, going beyond the call of duty if someone needs credit in a course that isn’t being offered on the regular schedule, being a good listener when someone needs to talk things out, offering an encouraging word when someone is struggling, and trying to take the high road when myriad other things come up in the course of a day’s work. In short, to be a Daughter of St. Angela is to wholeheartedly live a Christian life.

Contributed by Sister Mary Diane Taylor, osu